


Unadulterated Loathing

by Lucyndareads



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Femslash, starts off like a dreadful love triangle but changes into AWESOME FEMSLASH
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 08:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucyndareads/pseuds/Lucyndareads
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sieglinde Sullivan finds out that her new crush is attached at the hip with one Elizabeth Midford, sparks fly--and not the good kind. Soon, however, she finds that she might be crushing on the wrong person...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unadulterated Loathing

**Author's Note:**

> it's so weird because Lizzie/Sieglinde is literally my kuro otp and I have yet to write a fic about them... wtf....
> 
> anyway, this fic grew out of my firm belief that Wicked would be an excellent Lizzie/Sieglinde au, but I got a bit lazy and just wrote a generic college au instead!!!! hope you enjoy! 
> 
> note: Sieglinde may bash Lizzie in the beginning, but that changes drastically later on! Lizzie is my fave character; don't think I'm hating on her!

If there’s one thing Sieglinde Sullivan knows for sure, it’s that she hates Elizabeth Midford.

Yes, yes, hate is a strong word. But this isn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision, or anything. It’s not like she bears a grudge for every airheaded blonde chick she sees, or anything. 

No, Elizabeth Midford is special. 

Specially terrible, that is.

Perhaps it would be easier to start from the beginning.

 

* * *

 

Sieglinde Sullivan is a few days into her freshman year when she meets Ciel Phantomhive in her physics class. 

“Hey, are you a freshman too?” she asks, smiling as the boy slides into the seat next to her with a scowl on his face. So far she was getting worried that she’d be the only freshman in the class.

He whips his head around and glares at her. “For your information,” he says coldly, “I am a sophomore. But by all means continue to make assumptions about me based on my slim build and slight figure. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” 

His sarcasm is biting, and Sieglinde cringes in embarrassment. “I”m so sorry!” she says. “I… I was just hoping there would be another freshman in the class, and—“ 

“I don’t care,” the boy says, his tone abrupt, before turning to the front of the room where their teacher is about to speak. 

Sieglinde’s face burns in a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

She spends the rest of the class stewing. But as their teacher dismisses them for the day, the boy turns to her, his expression contrite. “I… that was mean, I’m sorry,” he says grudgingly. “Being the only freshman in a class is tough; I was in that boat a lot last year. Did you get bumped up a level because of all the advanced courses you took in high school, too?” 

“Y-yeah,” Sieglinde admits. “I didn’t want to spread it around too much because I thought it would make me seem like an asshole.” 

The boy barks out a laugh. It’s the laugh of someone who isn’t used to laughing. “You’re wiser than me,” he says. “I made a lot of enemies last year acting like a smartass. Not that I stopped acting like a smartass, but—” 

“Would you like to go out for coffee?” Sieglinde blurts. “I… I don’t have many friends here, and… oh god, sorry if this sounds pathetic. To be honest, I don’t go out much to parties or anything so I don’t meet very many people.” 

The boy considers her for a second. “Sure,” he decides. “But coffee is shit and I’m getting tea.” 

 

* * *

 

It only takes that one outing for coffee to give Sieglinde a huge crush on Ciel Phantomhive. 

He may be grumpy and rude, but she can tell that underneath the tough exterior lies a very sweet guy. And he’s funny, with a sardonic sense of humor. And he’s wildly smart; the two of them are on a very similar intellectual plane. And he smells nice. A feminine smell, like strawberries and cream. 

She imagines what it would be like to date him, to kiss him, to give him a hand job and watch his pretty little face crumple with pleasure. 

She imagines a lot of things, but all of her fantasies come crashing down about a week later.

 

* * *

 

She’s limping around the dining hall, plate in hand as she looks for a place to sit, when she sees Ciel, sitting alone at a large table. “Um,” she says timidly, walking up to his table. “Mind if I sit here?” 

“Oh, Sieglinde,” he says, looking up. “Yes, I suppose. A few people are coming, but there’s still room.” 

Sieglinde beams as she sits down. 

They have a quick conversation about their physics homework before they’re suddenly joined by the rest of Ciel’s friends, a noisy, rambunctious pack of sophomores and juniors. Nowhere near what Sieglinde was expecting.

Noticing how nervous she looks, Ciel quickly introduces them; “Guys, this is Sieglinde. She’s a freshman in my Physics class.” All of Ciel’s friends wave at her. They seem friendly enough. “Sieglinde, this is Alois, Finny, Soma, Doll, and—“ 

“CIELLLL!” 

Sieglinde’s jaw practically drops in astonished horror as a blonde girl runs up to Ciel and wraps her arms around him tightly, giving him a big smooch on the lips. 

She waits for Ciel to get angry, but he doesn’t. Instead, he blushes, looking exasperated but happy as he mutters, “Hello, Lizzie. How was dance?” 

“Fan- _tastic_!” says Lizzie. “How was Econ?” 

Ciel shrugs. “I aced the quiz,” he says, a small smug smile appearing on his face. 

“Ooh, I’m not surprised, Mr. Smartypants,” coos Lizzie, ruffling his hair. 

“I hate that nickname,” whines Ciel, but he doesn’t look perturbed as he turns back to Sieglinde. “This is my girlfriend, Elizabeth.”

_Fuck._

“Call me Lizzie!” Lizzie says eagerly to Sieglinde. “It’s so nice to meet you!”

“Y-yeah,” says Sieglinde lamely. 

Well, at least the rest of Ciel’s friends seem nice.

 

* * *

 

Sieglinde likes to pride herself on her feminist beliefs. She’s not the kind of girl who tears other girls down. So she really, really, really tries her hardest not to hate Lizzie, just because of a guy.

But god _damn_ , does Lizzie make it hard. 

The girl is completely vapid; a horrible match for Ciel’s intellect. All she talks about is fashion and cute animal videos—that is, when she’s not hanging onto Ciel’s every word like a stenographer. 

In any other scenario, Sieglinde would just dismiss the girl with disdain. But it’s quite clear that if Sieglinde wants time with Ciel, she has to have time with Lizzie. So she spends a hell of a lot of time with Lizzie. 

And it’s awful. It’s awful watching Lizzie boop Ciel’s nose, and grab his ass, and push him up against a tree and kiss him deeply. Sieglinde would kill to be in her position. 

And clearly she’s terrible at hiding her animosity, because it soon becomes clear that Lizzie doesn’t like Sieglinde very much either. 

Whenever Sieglinde shows up at their table in the dining hall, Lizzie gets the most irritating look on her face, as if she smelled something rotten. Whenever Ciel is there, Lizzie will put her arm around his shoulders and give Sieglinde the kind of look that screams ‘you’ll never get to do this with him’. Often when Sieglinde speaks, Lizzie will interrupt with a flip of her hair and a new, more interesting story. 

The whole scenario is very infuriating, to be perfectly honest. Sieglinde talks to her therapist and Uncle Wolfram a lot about it.

 

* * *

 

Everything boils to a head during a party taking place a few months later. 

Well, it’s not so much a party as a small get together, with the whole friend group—that Sieglinde is now an established part of—meeting to drink, snack, and watch tv.

After a while everyone’s drunk, except for Sieglinde, who prefers to keep a clear head—well, _mostly_ a clear head. And a few hours later, everyone leaves except for Sieglinde, Ciel, and Lizzie. 

Which is a problem, since Lizzie and Ciel have been making out—kissing and giggling and murmuring to each other—for quite a while now.

Sieglinde sits in the corner on her phone, trying not to look up. 

But she can hear the sucking of their lips and the melody of their giggles, and it makes her want to vomit.

“Hey, Sieg,” says Lizzie suddenly. 

Sieglinde looks up, not happy about her new nickname. “Yeah?” 

“Shut _up_ , Liz,” says Ciel urgently, although he seems to be on the verge of another giggle fit. 

“No no, we’re doing this!” says Lizzie.

“What, what is it?” Sieglinde says irritably. 

Lizzie giggles again—a sound that sets Sieglinde’s teeth on edge—and gets to her feet, pulling a grumbling Ciel up with her. Together they walk, somewhat stumbling, over to Sieglinde and sit on either side of her. 

Now Sieglinde is nervous. “What is it?” she repeats. 

“You want to kiss Ciel,” says Lizzie.

It’s as if Sieglinde’s insides freeze up. “Wh-what?” she says.

“You want to kiss Ciel,” repeats Lizzie. “I know this.” 

“Bullshit,” says Sieglinde in a panicked voice. 

“It’s like I _told_  you, Lizzie,” says Ciel in exasperation. 

“Shush!” says Lizzie. “I know what I’m talking about.”

Sieglinde is still tipsy and now quite irritated. “And so what if I did?” 

“So what?” says Lizzie. “So kiss him.” She grabs at Sieglinde’s head and pushes it towards Ciel, smashing their lips clumsily together. 

For a moment the two of them resist, but Ciel gives Sieglinde a ‘just let her have her fun’ look, and then they kiss for real. 

Finally. She’s kissing Ciel. 

But to her supreme disappointment, the kiss is… eh. Not terrible. Not great. Certainly not the amazing kiss she was expecting. It’s kind of boring, actually; and Ciel isn’t that great at it. 

So it happens, and then it’s over, and Sieglinde doesn’t know what to think. 

Then Lizzie taps her on the shoulder and says, “You’re not done yet.” 

Sieglinde turns towards her to ask what she means, but every thought goes out of her head when Lizzie leans in and kisses her. 

Her eyes go wide, as she prepares to pull away, but something keeps her from moving. Something about the way Lizzie smells is so familiar…

And then she realizes. The strawberries and cream smell has been coming from Lizzie this whole time. 

With this realization, a warm feeling grows in Sieglinde’s belly, and she starts to kiss back. 

After a moment, she hesitantly puts a hand on Lizzie’s shoulder and pulls her closer. Lizzie moans softly and leans forward, deepening the kiss.

“…guys?”

The two of them break apart and turn to look guiltily at Ciel.

“Um, so… I think that’s enough kissing for one night,” he says, looking lost. 

Sieglinde frowns. She can’t agree. She just got starting kissing and now she doesn’t want to stop. 

But Lizzie says, “Y-yes. Of course. Sorry guys, that was stupid.” And Sieglinde has no choice but to mumble an apology, even though she doesn’t really have anything to be sorry for. 

She heads back to her room. When she gets there, she changes into pajamas and realizes her panties are damp. She licks her lips, tastes strawberry, and shivers. _Lizzie_ … 

 

* * *

 

If there’s one thing Sieglinde Sullivan knows for sure, it’s that she wants to have deliciously furious hate sex with Elizabeth Midford.

 

* * *

 

In February it becomes apparent that Ciel and Lizzie aren’t doing so well. 

No one talks about it, but it’s easy to see. They bicker, they argue, they exchange dark glances. Ciel looks more glum, more scowly than usual. Lizzie tries to be bubbly, but has more of a tendency to burst into tears than usual.

Ciel is spending more time with this British transfer student. Lizzie is spending more time in her room. 

It takes its toll on everyone; the two of them have been the unofficial core of their little group. But most of all, it makes Sieglinde feel like shit. 

_Is it my fault? Am I the other woman? And if I am, who the hell am I the other woman to?_

She’s tormented by these thoughts.

A few days later, she hits the local cafe with Alois and spills everything to him. Alois, although a bit of a wild card, has a very unique and often helpful perspective on things.

“Oh… my… god…” he says, jaw dropping. 

“I know, I know,” moans Sieglinde, putting her head in her hands. “I’m a horrible person.” 

“What? No!” says Alois. “You’re a hero! Kissing _both halves_ of the class couple? Right on!” Sieglinde gives him a look, and he sobers up. “Sorry. Anyway, it’s not like you did anything wrong. Both Lizzie _and_ Ciel gave you permission to kiss each other, right?” 

“Yeah,” Sieglinde admits, “But I think I’m ruining their relationship. Ugh, this is all Lizzie’s fault. She—“ 

“I think it’s all of your faults,” interrupts Alois, wrinkling his nose. “Don’t hate on Lizzie just ‘cause you’ve been blinded by your crush on Ciel. Sisterhood, Sieglinde! Support your fellow woman! Crush the patriarchy!” 

By this point his voice is very loud and Sieglinde laughs as everyone looks over at them, waving her hands to try and get him to shush. “Alright, alright! I won’t hate on Lizzie. But what should I _do_?” 

Alois tilts his head, considering the question. Finally he says, “Nothing.” 

“Nothing?”

“Nothing,” he repeats with a brisk nod of his head. “Don’t try to get too involved with a couple, it’s bad news. Just back off and let them sort out their shit.” 

“Are you kidding me?” says Sieglinde. “I come to you, in my time of need, expecting my wonderfully impulsive and exciting friend Alois to give me valuable advice, and you say do _nothing_?” 

* * *

 

 

But she takes Alois’s advice. She backs off, giving the two of them some space. And it works. 

Both Lizzie and Ciel seem a little confused, a little lost in her absence. But they seem to start talking to each other again. 

Sieglinde is partly relieved and partly kicking herself; she’s lost any chance she might have had at being with Ciel. 

Or Lizzie. Whatever. 

Anyways, it seems like it’s going well until Sieglinde gets a text from Lizzie at about 3:30pm on a Tuesday.

_Can I come over?_

Sieglinde stares at the phone for a while. This is weird. She knows she should say no, but… what if it’s important? 

_Sure_ , she replies. _I’ll be in my room for a while._

About five minutes later, there’s a knock at the door. Sieglinde opens it, and Lizzie walks in, mumbling a hello. Something’s clearly not right; Lizzie’s usual stick-straight posture is slumped, and her eye makeup is running. 

“Lizzie?” she says hesitantly. “What’s wrong.”

Lizzie sniffs twice. “N-nothing.” She musters up what is possibly the fakest smile that Sieglinde has ever seen. “I’m… I’m… fi- oh, _Sieglinde_!” Suddenly, she’s wrapping her arms around Sieglinde’s neck and sobbing. 

Sieglinde’s eyes widen, completely at a loss as to what to do. She can’t even bring her arms up to hug back. “Um…” 

“Ciel broke up with me,” Lizzie sobs into her neck.

“Oh!” says Sieglinde, finally remembering how to move her arms and hug back. Suddenly she feels… lighter. “Oh, Lizzie, I’m so sorry…”

“No, you’re not,” Lizzie says suddenly, pushing her away. “No, you’re fucking not.”

Sieglinde blinks, feeling the words like a slap on her face. “Lizzie… what…”

“You’re happy,” Lizzie accuses, folding her arms. “You’re glad that Ciel and I are broken up, aren’t you?” 

“I’m not!” protests Sieglinde, holding her hands up placatingly. “I’m really not!”

“Don’t lie to me!” Lizzie says, her voice rising in volume and pitch. “You… you’ve liked him since the beginning. I know that; I’ve known that since the minute I saw your—“

“Lizzie!” shouts Sieglinde finally. “If you knew that I was going to be happy—and I’m not saying that I am—why did you come here?” 

Lizzie blinks, saying nothing for a moment. Then she breaks into a fresh round of sobs, collapsing onto the floor and hugging her knees. 

“Oh, _Lizzie_ ,” says Sieglinde, a little irritated now as she crouches down. “It’ll be ok. Did… did he say why he broke—“

“He… he said we don’t share enough interests,” Lizzie says tearfully. “He said we were running on fumes…” 

“Well… it’s true that you didn’t have much in common, right?” says Sieglinde gently. “You were never into all that intellectual—“

“It was an _act_ , Sieglinde!” says Lizzie, looking up at her. 

It really wasn’t fair that she’s attractive whilst crying her eyes out—the skin around her eyes is a faint red, which makes her blue-green eyes pop, her lips are plumped and shiny, and even her dripping nose is somehow appealing. 

_Not the time for that, Sieglinde!_ “What do you mean, it was an act?” 

Lizzie laughs humorlessly through her tears, staring off into space. “Did you think I was really that vapid? That I couldn’t care less who was president ‘as long as they wore nice clothes’? That I couldn’t tell the difference between Ireland and Scotland?” 

Sieglinde remembers Lizzie saying both of those things, and she definitely remembers believing them. “Y-yes?” she says weakly. 

Lizzie shakes her head. “Everyone bought it,” she says. “Everyone thinks I’m an idiot. No one knows that I do so well in all my classes, and that my favorite author is Margaret Atwood. No one even knows that I read for fun! I just… when I first met Ciel, he said he was intimidated by people who were smarter than he was, so I thought… I thought if I…”

“You pretended to be dumb for Ciel,” Sieglinde says slowly, her mouth dropped in shock. “Lizzie, why…”

“He was the first friend I made here!” says Lizzie tearfully. “I liked him… I just wanted him to like me. At my high school, I was this fencing prodigy and no boy ever even _looked_ at me. They were all too afraid. I didn’t realize that it would be different in college until it was too late.” 

“And you never thought of telling Ciel…?” Sieglinde begins, then tapers off and shakes her head. “No, I understand. Of course you couldn’t tell him.”

“Oh, you must th-think I’m absolutely w-wretched!” Lizzie cries, before breaking down into sobs again.

Sieglinde starts to gently rub her back, fighting the urge to kiss at the tears falling from those perfect, jewel-toned eyes. She’s at a loss for what to do. Finally, she says, “So your favorite author is Margaret Atwood?”

Lizzie’s sobs quiet, and she looks up at Sieglinde in mild confusion. “Yes?” 

Sieglinde nods. “I read the _Handmaid’s Tale_ and I really liked it.” 

“It’s one of my favorite books,” says Lizzie immediately, brightening a bit. “But my real favorite piece of hers is her poem about the hook and the eye.” 

“I’ve never read that,” admits Sieglinde. 

This results in Lizzie looking up the poem on her phone, which leads to Sieglinde looking up a poem of her own. They have an in-depth discussion about poetry—specifically women poets—which somehow bleeds into a discussion on feminism, which somehow bleeds into a conversation about food. 

Before Sieglinde knows it, it’s been an hour, and she’s spent it all lost in conversation with Lizzie. She’s enjoying herself extremely, and she absolutely loves seeing how Lizzie—though her eyes are still a bit watery—is perking up and giggling and being her normal charming self. She’s amazed by how intelligent Lizzie is; now that she’s seen this new side, she can hardly believe that she ever thought that Lizzie was so vapid. 

Unfortunately, this is only causing Sieglinde to crush on Lizzie further; intelligence has always been a turn-on for her. The spark in those blue-green eyes is enthralling, and Sieglinde finds herself getting closer and closer, drawn to them like a moth to a flame. 

She jolts when Lizzie says her name. “Uh… what is it?” she says nervously, drawing back.

“I’m sorry I was so terrible to you,” says Lizzie solemnly. “I saw you as a threat; I thought Ciel liked you better.” 

Sieglinde sighs. “Let’s be real. We both fought over him.” 

“I suppose we did,” says Lizzie, echoing Sieglinde’s sigh. “How pathetic. All this drama over a boy." 

Sieglinde opens her mouth, then bites her lip. “Nevermind.” 

“What is it?” says Lizzie, leaning forward. Sieglinde shakes her head, and Lizzie presses, “What is it, Sieg? Please, tell me.” 

It’s the nickname that pushes Sieglinde to say, “Was it really all about Ciel? The whole thing? All of the weirdness?”

“I… I don’t know what you mean,” says Lizzie, tilting her head. “I—“

“Yes, you do,” says Sieglinde impatiently. “The… the kiss, Lizzie. I’m talking about the kiss.” 

Lizzie flushes deeply. “I’m so sorry about that! I was drunk, it was stupid and nothing, and I made you feel uncomfortable, and—“

“So it was nothing, then,” says Sieglinde, suddenly feeling hollow. “Ok. Just wondering.” She stands up, dusting herself off. “I should probably go.” 

“No, wait,” says Lizzie, standing up. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t nothing.” She takes Sieglinde’s hand. “Sieglinde, do you like me? More than just a friend, I mean.” 

Lizzie’s hand is so warm.

Sieglinde swallows. “I think so,” she admits, and it’s like lifting a weight off of her shoulders. “I thought I liked Ciel, but… I liked kissing you more.” 

“Oh,” says Lizzie softly, looking like someone just told her that she won the lottery. “I think…do you know what? I think I feel the same way.” 

“You liked kissing yourself more?” Sieglinde says, grinning.

Lizzie rolls her eyes and shoves Sieglinde playfully. “Shut up. You know what I meant.” 

“And you really meant it?” says Sieglinde, leaning forward. 

“I really did,” says Lizzie. “Can- can I kiss you again?”

Sieglinde can’t find any words; all she can do is nod.

Lizzie leans in and presses her lips to Sieglinde’s, and the softest of moans leaves Sieglinde’s mouth as they kiss. Lizzie’s lips are warmer than her hand, and soft and sweet, just as she remembered from their last kiss. 

This time, however, there’s no Ciel here to stop them from taking it further. Sieglinde wraps an arm around Lizzie’s shoulders, while Lizzie grips Sieglinde’s waist. It’s unclear who opens her mouth first, but suddenly their tongues have met, and the sensation is so bizarrely wonderful that they pull away gasping for breath before diving back in. 

After a while of this, Sieglinde brings her hand to Lizzie’s breast, and Lizzie jolts, stepping back. 

“I’m sorry!” Sieglinde says hurriedly, feeling like shit. “That was too forward, I’m sorry, I just—“ 

“No, it’s ok!” says Lizzie breathlessly, holding up her hands. “I’m just old fashioned; I like to- to date first. Um, would you like to order pizza tonight, maybe?”

Sieglinde blinks. “That sounds really nice,” she says. “Would you, um, want to watch a movie, with our pizza?”

“That sounds amazing,” says Lizzie with a beaming smile.

So they order pizza, and watch Indiana Jones. They hold hands, which is hard to do while they eat pizza, but they manage. Lizzie tells Sieglinde about her workout schedule, and Sieglinde is impressed. Sieglinde tells her about winning a national kid’s science fair when she was in fourth grade, and Lizzie is impressed. They roast Ciel for a while, but eventually both agree that none of this was really his fault and that they’ll still all be friends. They kiss many times more, only stopping to say goodnight when it's so late that they’re in danger of falling asleep on each other. 

When Lizzie goes to leave Sieglinde’s room, Sieglinde asks if she wants to go on another date, and Lizzie says yes. 

 

* * *

 

If there’s one thing Sieglinde Sullivan knows for sure, it’s that she’s fallen for Elizabeth Midford. 

And if there’s one more thing she knows for sure, it’s that Lizzie feels the same. 


End file.
